Reading for others - a guide for the interested beginner
Although I rarely read tarot for others, here are a few ideas that might help those of you who do. This is an extension of a post in alt.tarot.friendly. Someone asked how to keep a querant from being troubled by "negative cards" in the spread. The focus here is expanded somewhat.
How to get the most value from this information
Don't believe anything I say. Try it for yourself and see what works and what doesn't. You'll want to suspend your disbelief long enough to try the suggestions at least once each. If it doesn't work try something else. If it does work, tune it and make it yours.
[Note: a "querant" is the person for whom you are doing the reading]
Set the reading up in advance.
Anything that you've prepared the querant for is non-traumatic. It's the surprises that scare people.
Realize you have no control over the querant's reaction. They are going to do or feel whatever they want; you can only control your own reactions.
something different: the token - an experiment in value and psychology
Even if (or especially if) you are new to reading, or if you don't read for $$$, seriously consider charging a bill for the reading. Do this one evening and see how it affects you both...
"The fee for my reading is a bill - a one will do fine. I won't make change. (smile)"
It's got to be a bill, not coins
If they've only got a 5 or 10, take that instead. Remember, you don't make change.
Seed a bill-shaped container with two dollars. A cigar box will do, although the more form-fitting to the bill the better.
Instruct the querant to place their bill with the others. [this is more important than it seems]
The next day donate your fees to someone who needs it, or treat yourself to a massage.
Ask the querant to suspend their disbelief for the session. If they "don't believe it works" then ask them to pretend it does for the length of the session. (Smile when you say this!) If you can get them to play, to pretend, they can have an intense experience. Play is powerful.
Every once in a while you will get a querant who is antagonistic, who wants to "prove you wrong." If you can get them to pretend then they will be ok, and will likely gain respect for you after the session. If they refuse to pretend then this is a lose-lose situation: don't read for them. In this situation I explain that I'm doing the reading for them not for me, and if they have reservations then it will be a waste, and an unnecessary drain on my resources. If you do this for $$$, I advise you to not take this kind of client. Seriously. (one of the great lessons of self-employment is learning to hand-pick your clients).
Hold up a card sideways and show the querant that the cards are just pasteboard. They're not magic or holy relics; so anything that happens in coming from inside the querant. A comparison to Rorschach blots is usually an analogy the querant can adopt.
Let them know how to interpret both so-called "positive" and "negative" imagery.
I'd say there are no + or - cards, but we're working with
perceptions here. One way to minimize this kind of +/- thinking is
frame the reading as an introspection NOT as a prediction.
One way to frame this is with the "wish card" (9 of cups). "This doesn't mean that you will have a wish fulfilled, but may instead stand for a wish that you have, a wish you've made, or a wish you don't know about consciously yet. Or something like that."
Let them know they don't have to do anything aloud. Several
times during a reading I urge querants to "think about [some
aspect of the reading] to yourself. Stay quiet and let that
stew..."
Notice I'm telling the querant what I want them
to do ("stay quiet") rather than what I don't want
them to do ("don't say anything"). Also notice the word choice of
"stay quiet" rather than the parental-sounding "be quiet".
This air of introspection and self-honesty can be encouraged by
reading only for the querant (no one else allowed to watch or listen,
unless VERY trusted and even then I advise against it). You may be more
relaxed and the querant will be less defensive when alone; no need to
act tough in front of other party-goers. The querant will usually focus
carefully after s/he's waited an hour for your complete attention.
And if you get them to look at themselves you could very well change
their life for the better. Sometimes you can see their expression or
body language shift dramatically and you KNOW something important just
happened internally. It's not our business, as readers, what that something is; be grateful you were in the presence of someone making a real change in their lives. It's humbling.
If you have several decks let the querant pick one with
favored imagery. Encourage the querant to make an instinctual,
gut choice based on first impressions. Not only does this save
time (some people could mull for hours) but it will reinforce
their trust of their own instincts. If s/he can't choose within
30 seconds or so then point out a favorite of yours and use
it. "This one's great for relationship readings", for example.
If you use dignities (reversions or elementals) explain that also. You don't have to lecture, but it's useful to spend a few seconds explaining that the position or dignity of cards (by itself or with others) can affect the meaning.
explain the basic differences between Majors v. Minors v. courts.
Explain the basic shape of the layout before you begin. No big
details necessarily, but indicate the size and shape of the layout
with your hands. By doing this, you are indicating to the querant roughly the size of the completed project; they will subconsciously know roughly where you are in the reading. If you're doing it on the floor feel free to have the person move in or out as necessary to leave the correct amount of space. And this knowledge reinforces (to both of you) your knowledge and experience.
Do the actual reading
move and speak slowly and gracefully
before you pull the next card, explain the meaning of the position you are about to fill while you point to or touch the position. "This position is for the recent past. Last week, maybe last month."
when you pull the card, discuss it while still in your hand. "This is the two of pentacles. Twos usually mean duality or reciprocity or balance. The pentacles refer to material things. Together in this card they traditionally refer to fluctuation, or the give and take of material or financial life."
place the card in position and explain what the card would mean in that slot. Discuss important nearby card groupings if you do that sort of thing.
Something different: If you're feeling good about it all, and the spread is complete enough that the querant can see the space filling up, after discussing the card and the position you might try handing the card to the querant and having her put the card in place. Then discuss the card in its slot. Do this only when both you and the querant are confident. Interaction with the cards might unsettle a skittish or timid person. If you pick the person and the time is right you might see a smile on their face as they 'put their life in order' by placing the card. It's control, power, magick in the purest sense. And you may have just made a tarot convert. :-)
If you forget what a card means or don't know how to explain or make sense of it
relax; the querant doesn't know you'd choked if you stay calm and centered.
when in doubt, sit still for a moment. Close your eyes and relax.
use any handle you can find. This can get you back on track.
discuss the general meaning of the suit
discuss the general meaning of the pip number (4, 5, 6, etc)
discuss the general meaning of the astrological signs
discuss the general meaning of the graphic imagery
discuss the general meaning of the colors or shapes
ask the querant, openly, what the card means to them
If you pull one of the "scary cards" and the querant seems bothered, then neutrally talk about some of the misconceptions about the cards. You can explain that there are surface and hidden meanings for the tarot. [this, btw, is the distinction between the exoteric and esoteric tarot].
Key 13 - Death
the Death figure is rarely portrayed as cruel; some even portray him as compassionate (hand gesture).
Death comes for royalty as well as common people (crowns)
Death and decay make fertilizer for new life (new plant growth often seen on death cards). putrefaction is one of the traditional steps in alchemy.
pisces
Key 15 - The Devil
A main theme with this card is illusion. Humans usually cannot see that their chains are illusory, and easily removed. (in many packs the chains are actually loose enough for the people to pull off, but they don't know it).
Another main theme here is self-limiting behavior. The upside-down torch is, IMO, a reference to the Latin saying that the inverted torch extinguishes itself. When we mis-use our natural talents that is an ultimately self-limiting and self-destructive behavior.
capricorn
Key 16 - the Tower
Notice the "destructive force" (lightning bolt) comes down from above and strikes the "head" of the tower. Old patterns have to be destroyed before new ones can be built in their place.
If you're kabalistically-minded, notice the shape of the lightning bolt. Compare this to the Tree of Life schematic.
mars
Get closure on the reading
Start thinking in terms of wrapping the reading up.
When the spread is complete, point out anything that really
stands out on the Big Picture ("look, there are three court cards here, etc")
If the querant is having a Big Experience (moment of clarity, epiphany, whatever) give them some time to just sit and absorb. You can definitely tell by their expression and body language. I've seen people shake and cry before... Be respectful and gentle; they've just had a powerful experience in a relatively public place...
If nothing major is going on (which is usually the case), then tie the
whole experience together for them, an overall story spelled out in the cards. If this is hard for you (it is for me), you may find it easier to play-act this part: "A traditional or Gypsy fortune-teller might tie it all together like this: [insert story here]." A person who uses tarot for meditation might interpret this spread as [insert overall theme here]." Etc.
You don't have to end with a bang, but make sure it is obvious the session is over. One way, the Polaroid, is discussed below. Not only is it a nice touch, but you already told them that "after the reading is finished we'll take a Polaroid." So when you take the Polaroid the reading is, by definition, finished. See how this stuff works?
If possible make a Polaroid pic
of the spread and give it to them. Or record the session and give it
to them. If you do this for $$$, have preprinted labels you can affix to the tape or Polaroid; these should give your name, #, and URL so they can contact you again.
Take a short break between each reading!
get up and stretch, walk off by yourself somewhere to re-center and relax. People will take you more seriously, and you will, too.
if you find yourself seriously exhausted, you're either doing too many readings for too many people (very common) or you're using up your own energy (so to speak). If you suspect the latter, consciously use the querant's energy to fuel the reading... they've got lots to spare. And there are way more of them than there are of you.
Think about ways you can improve the next reading (i.e., if a querant ever acts like they don't know what to do, you need to lead them more. Use your hands to direct them where to sit, when to get up, etc.
put a cloth over the cards when you walk off to keep people from playing with them. Or leave only the top card face-up or do something else that is (or looks) significant to you. This will simultaneously build their interest and curiosity and encourage them to keep their mitts off. :-)
I hope this is enough to get you started. Feel free to send me feedback.
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